Tuesday, June 23, 2009

what a trip!!

holy cow...the roller coaster ride!

i tell ya what, life is nothing close to boring when you are pregnant and feelings and emotions are amplified! from my whine, pitty fest friday night, elation saturday when my husband returned, worried anxiety sunday, shock and surprise monday, to slightly relieved but mild irritation. LOL

so ya all know about friday...heehee i made it very clear how i was feeling that evening. :) saturday was great, my husband returned and all was well! sunday rolled around and things were slightly different. when i went to bed saturday night, i felt a little off. i was tired, didn't feel quite right and i couldn't get comfortable and that did not provide me with a good night's sleep. i got up in the morning and that "off" feeling continued and worsened. i started to feel worried and horribly guilty. here it is FATHER'S day and i could not dote upon my man! but that wasn't what got me the worst. i started feeling really icky, achy, gassy, contraction-y, dizzy, nauseated...nothing good. (especially for one who has a history of preterm labor) then i got to remembering how i felt the day i went into labor with my first pregnancy. the similarities were too close (except no spotting, thank goodness). the freaking out ensued. i did not go to church. i stayed home and stayed down trying not to think too much on how i felt and read into things too much. i relaxed and wasted some time on facebook via my hubby's 'puter, and relaxed in a bath...where i actually fell asleep. i was given a blessing after my family got home from church...and that really made me feel better. troy took care of me and the kids and made dinner for us. we then got a surprise. one of troy's sisters and her husband who live about 5 hours away was in town and they paid us a visit! it was so nice! by the time they left, kids cleaned up and put to bed and my dinner eaten, i was exhausted. i slept very well that night.

monday really sang a different note! i was still slightly zapped of energy, but feeling SO much better. our foster son's case manager came for a monthly home visit. (she was 1/2 hour late, no surprise, but frustrating because we had swimming lessons) the visit was pretty much same ole, same ole until she started discussing actual progress in the case plan! i knew about SOME of it, but suddenly there was a time frame and a goal for him to be home with his parents!! WOAH!! CPS has been very slow about any progress. we've had our foster son for almost 16 months and there has been little progress allowed by cps. we were expecting very little to change till closer to december. but if all goes according to what was laid out to me, it's quite possible he will not be with us when the upcoming school year starts! i was in shock most of the day!! talk about a turn around!! but let me tell you, this is a GOOD thing!
we are all very happy!

today was interesting too. lance had his first visit with his grandma since restrictions were lessened. while he was with his grandma i had a prenatal appt. i was anxious about this one because of my "excitement" on sunday. i was worried that there might have been a lot of change pregnancy wise...dilation and effacement. hoping not too much, but at the same time...wanting SOME...to know that yeah, i won't be pregnant forever. (i am technically full term in 3 weeks!!) well my dr was concerned when he heard about my symptoms that i had experienced and i was checked. NOTHING! i haven't done ANYTHING!! this does not bode well for me! :P but it's good at the same time. it's looking like i will actually get to that 37 week mark and have my first full term baby...i just hope i will not go to my due date! or else the cute little dress that i picked up at walmart for $3 in hopes that she can wear it home from the hospital would be too small!


what a fun range of emotions in such a short range of time huh? :P just thinking about the past few days makes me feel tired!

i think i am gonna take advantage of the fact that the kids are surprisingly still asleep and get some shut eye myself! :)

i hope you all are having days on the happier registers of the emotional scales!


Casey said...

It's hard to remember that emotional pregnancy brain that happens. it feels likes its been forever ago! You are allowed to feel tired you have kids, and responsibilities :) You should take a spa day, before you have this baby girl.. so your toes will be so pretty.. for the Dr :)

Amanda said...

Wow--it sounds like you just needed some time to yourself. The last few weeks are SO hard. Those little ones are ramping up their growth and take so much energy. I hope you're able to make it to full term! Although, at this point, it may feel like torture, since you've never been pregnant that long before. I hope that you're able to relax and enjoy having an excuse to put your feet up for the next month or so!

robandtiff said...

I hope we didn't bother you on sunday. Thanks for letting us bug you guys anyway, it was fun. I miss the girlies. I love them so much=)

P.S. Love the back yard and take your dog to the vet.

amy said...

I am so so happy for you! You are one lucky girl!

lenseigne said...

I hope everything goes wonderfully for the rest of your pregnancy and your delivery! Such an exciting time!!

Heather said...

whew! I got tired just reading that!! The last few weeks are so hard, and I never make it to my due date either! I can'y imagine those people who go late! NO WAY!